Who's Frederick?
by swanqueen-fangirl
Summary: Regina comes home to some of Emma and Henry's shenanigans. SQ family time! (A single place for my mini-fics and prompts)
1. Who's Frederick?

Swan Queen Family Time! Just a ficlet I had written a while ago. I own nothing.

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Regina pulled into her driveway after a long day at the office. Sliding her key into the lock, she can hear a commotion going on inside of her home.

She'd left Emma in charge of watching over Henry during the summer days she had off from the sheriff's department. Several times Regina would come home to them scrambling around the house trying to hide or put away what they had previously been up to.

_What could it be this time,_ Regina thought, as she heard Henry's voice yelling then breaking into laughter as she opened the front door.

There in the foyer was the most ridiculous scene Regina had come home to yet. Emma was on the stairway hanging over the railing and holding what looked like an iguana with a cluster of balloons tied around its stomach and down below, Henry was jumping up and down holding a pillow.

"One… Twoooo…"

Emma and Henry froze at the sound of the door shutting; Regina's matching pair of deer in headlights.

"What in the world is going on here?" Regina asked a little louder than she intended.

Caught in the act, Emma tried to save face, "We were uh—just getting ready for Henry's uhm—science—"

"We wanted to see if Frederick could fly!" an overjoyed Henry chimed in.

"Who's Fredrick?" Regina questioned.

"My new iguana!"

Regina's brow furrowed as she turned to Emma expecting an explanation. Emma pulled Fredrick back over the railing and closer to her, looking a little sheepish. "Hey, Regina, don't be mad. We went into the pet shop to get Snow some bird food and the owner was gunna put this little guy down, unless he got adopted, so…."

"He's just like me!" Henry beamed. Regina was surprised at the comment, she never shied away from his questions about being adopted, but since he'd found his birth mother, it has become a non-issue. Before she could address him, Emma softly added, "Yeah, and I never lived anywhere long enough to have my own pet..." as she gave Frederick a little kiss on his head. He seemed to eye her with a slightly bothered look.

That was all it took. Regina gave in.

Clearing her throat from the unexpected emotions, she softened and said, "Well now, you're never going to get him to fly with all those balloons weighing him down."

Henry and Emma's absurd smiles returned.

"Oh, yeah? Then what do we use?" Emma retorted.

"Me."

Henry threw her a curious look. Regina then summoned her powers, and even though she had promised to lay off the magic, today seemed to be an exception. She maneuvered her magic to levitate Frederick from Emma's arms, untying and deflating each balloon in the process. Emma ran down the stairs to join Henry who was still following underneath the floating Fredrick with a pillow held high over his head.

"I think he's safe," Emma assured him, as she got him to toss the pillow to the floor.

"Mom! Mom! Make him dance and do summersaults!" Henry egged. Regina revealed a small smirk at Frederick's demeanor, like former queens levitated him with magic all the time. She slowly began to twirl him upright and cause his little arms and legs to sway. Henry laughed and jumped up to high five Emma. Regina's heart warmed exponentially at the sight of them.

"Alright, I think poor Frederick's had enough for now," Regina said after quite a dazzling summersault. The iguana looked especially relieved when she slowly brought him levitating back down into Henry's waiting arms.

"Thanks," Emma began as she threw her arm around her Mayor's waist and leaned in for a light kiss on the cheek, "It might've taken a little while to find him, but now he's here and a part of us."

Henry gave a nod and grinned, giving Frederick a little squeeze.

"Family."


	2. A Houseplant is Dying

A houseplant is dying. Tell it why it needs to live. (642 things to write about mini prompt)

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"OH FUCK!" Emma yelled, noticing Regina's prized flowering plant in the corner. Dead. Utterly Dead. Wilted and brownly dead.

Henry, hearing the expletive from the other room, came wandering in.

"It's dead! Oh god, Regina's going to kill me! It was the ONE thing she wanted me to do while she was away and now look, days without water, it's practically dead!"

"No no no no no no no no…." Emma went into a mantra and was trying to fluff the poor thing back into an upright position, " Please don't die! Don't you _dare_ die on me! Don't leave me on this Earth to have my ass handed to me when my wife gets home! I need you! Come on, Mr. Plant, I—"

"Dan."

Emma whirled around. "Huh?"

"His name is Dan," Henry began, "I've seen Mom talk to it when she thinks no one's looking. I hear it actually helps them grow."

"Does shouting make them grow faster?" Emma deadpanned.

Henry gave a small shrug.

Emma resumed her fluffing, "You know, it kinda looks okay from here…except for the brown dead vibe. If only it was at least green, then it could buy us—," Henry gave her a pointed look, "alright, _me_, some time to at least run to the store to try and find a replacement before she comes home today." Emma ran her hands through her messy locks, "I. Am. So. Dead."

"I could help you paint it?" Henry ventured, "Green again."

"Don't be ridicu—" Emma paused to revel in her supreme lack of alternatives.

She glanced back to the pathetic plant.

"Go get your paintbrushes."


	3. The Stray

Henry opened the door to the house on 108 Mifflin Street after coming home from school.

"Emma, look!" he called out eagerly. The blonde stuck her head out from the kitchen.

"What is it?" she called out, hands full with a turkey sandwich.

_"Look"_ Henry repeated. She walked over to the front door and peered outside. A black cat was pacing back and forth across their porch.

"Can we keep him?" Henry ventured.

"I think he might belong to somebody else, kid," Emma returned, stuffing the last half of her sandwich into her mouth in one giant bite.

"Well, can we still keep him?" he asked again.

"What if someone found Frederick?" she asked him, "Wouldn't you want him back?"

"Of course I would!" Henry fervently defended. He looked towards his iguana's favorite spot and could see his long tail sticking out from underneath the couch and into the middle of the room. More than once he had yelled out for his Moms not to step on his pet, and there had been a heated debate about moving the couch to a different area. They had all eventually given up on getting the green fellow to choose a different spot. It was now automatically ingrained for his Moms to step extra wide when passing the couch as not to step on him again; weather he was actually there or not.

Still chewing at the half sandwich she'd stuffed into her mouth Emma said, "Okay, listen here, we can keep him—"

"Yes!" Henry exclaimed.

"—but only until his owners come and get him. You can put up some flyers around the neighborhood, okay?"

"Okay," Henry agreed. Emma went back to the kitchen to get the cat some water and when she returned with a small bowl Henry looked at her dubiously.

"What?" she asked defensively.

"Don't you _know?"_ he asked as if it was obvious, "Cats don't like water, they only drink milk," he insisted. Emma tried not to roll her eyes at her son's insistence, but still put the water down inside of the doorway to their home.

"He's not gunna drink that," he said with full belief.

"We'll see," Emma replied. The black cat crossed the threshold into their home and Henry carefully closed the door. The cat then sauntered over to the bowl of water and simply sat down and looked up at the blonde.

"_See," _he smugly said.

She had to admit Henry had a way with animals neither her nor Regina could understand. It didn't matter what kind either. When Emma had found a spider in their room, through all her screaming and her wife's laugher, Henry had insisted they didn't kill it. Instead, he had gotten a jar and spent the next half hour trying to catch it until he finally succeeded. He had named it Rex and begged to keep it as a pet before finally giving in and letting it free outside in their backyard. It was still a while before Emma came down off the bed to the floor again. Regina had found it incredibly amusing Emma could slay a dragon, but not a tiny spider.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Emma brushed him off. Henry ended up getting the black cat some milk and then they left him alone when he promptly laid himself down in the sun streaming in from the window to take a nap. It wasn't until later the black cat was causing complete chaos.

* * *

"WHERE IS IT?!" Emma screamed

"HE'S NOT AN _IT_!" Henry yelled back at her, trying to keep her away from the cat that had woken up some time ago.

"_IT_ peed on my boots!" Emma said furiously, stomping through the house in her mismatched socks.

"You can't—"

Their argument was interrupted by a fierce hissing coming from the other room. They both ran in to see what was going on. The cat was hissing itself into a deep arch, making it appear larger with all of its fur sticking up in response to the iguana residing under the couch.

"Uh-oh," Emma commented, "This isn't good."

"What do you mean?" Frederick started to bob his head back and forth. "They're just getting to know each other," Henry responded a little less confidently. The green lizard then started to twitch his tail and Henry's face fell fast. But before Frederick Mills did anything more, the cat, still hissing, extracted its claws from its paws. That seemed to crack Henry's illusion of how innocent the terror was right away.

"NOBODY THREATENS MY FAMILY!" Henry exclaimed, charging in to break up the soon to be fight. Emma jerked him by the arm last minute to keep him back.

"Hold on there," she said, taking his place, stepping in and grabbing the cat by his tail.

"Mom, no!" Henry tried to alert her. Realizing her mistake only too soon, the feline turned and sunk its claws into Emma's jacket.

"Ah! Son of a—" Emma stopped short on her expletive, dropped the nightmare and stared at her red jacket she was wearing, now with fresh rips down the pocket. The black nuisance ran off inside the house. She was lucky the fabric of her jacket was thick enough that she was unscathed. Emma turned to her son and setting her expression into one of complete gravity, said, "Let's do this."

The blonde then gathered a hodgepodge of items including oven mitts, a hockey mask, duck tape, a can of tuna, a laundry basket, a broom, and two magazines.

"Okay, kid, this is what we're going to do to get that demon out of here," she began conspiratorially. Henry listened with rapt attention.

"You chase it into the corner where the tuna is, and I'll use the laundry basket like a cage to put over it." She brought out the oven mitts and put them onto her son.

"What about you?" Henry asked in all seriousness. Emma looked deep into his eyes. "If I don't make it, tell your mom…" she paused, "_I _was the one who turned all her white button ups pink."

"THAT WAS YOU?" Henry exclaimed incredulously, "BUT YOU BLAMED ME!"

"That's neither here nor there; we need to catch this thing," she side stepped, avoiding his eye. "Here, wrap these around your forearms and I'll duct tape 'em."

"Magazines?" he questioned with a puzzled countenance.

"Saw it in a movie once, but it's so you won't get scratched up," she explained.

"Oh, nice," he said as the screech of duct tape filled the room.

"Alright, are you ready?" she asked after wrapping the makeshift armor over his oven mitts. Henry put on his hockey mask he still had from the two weeks they had tried to enroll him in a winter sport earlier in the year.

"Ready," he affirmed. Emma nodded, grabbed the broom and plastic laundry basket, and moved to her position near the corner where she set down the opened can of tuna and waited. The house was completely silent. Soon enough, Henry came charging through the area in a run, but he wasn't chasing the cat; the four legged devil was yowling and chasing him!

"Emmmmaaaaa! Get it away from meeee!" he shouted. Emma gripped the broom tighter and went to intercept the black nightmare. She dropped the weapon when Henry jumped up and into her arms at a run, nearly making her lose her balance and fall to the floor. She adjusted her grip of her son who had wrapped himself around her when the two cat hunters completely halted at the sound of the front door closing and keys jingling.

Henry bounced down to the ground again and he and Emma made their way to the entryway. When they turned the corner, the beast was circling itself around Regina's heeled boots and mewling like a kitten.

"Aw, aren't you the sweetest thing," Regina baby talked a few octaves higher with her usually husky voice. Emma and Henry stared with their mouths falling open so wide their jaws nearly hit the ground. Regina bent down to lightly stroke its head all the way down to its tail; its bottom arching up to meet her with every stroke.

"Aw, come here, darling," the brunette cooed and bent down to pick up the ebony feline.

"MOM, DON'T!" Henry tried to warn, but she had already brought the monster up and into her arms. Emma was still gaping like a fish out of water.

"Who's this?" Regina asked them curiously as the creature started purring into her chest. She gave Henry a second glance, "And why are you dressed like that?" she asked, taking in his attire and giving her wife a pointedly raised eyebrow.

"How are you-? I mean, that thing-" Emma exasperated.

"She's quite lovely. Is she another rescue?" Regina modestly inquired.

"_She?"_ Henry repeated, as if it all made sense to him now.

"Isn't it obvious?" Regina said to him then turned her attention back to the four legs in her embrace, "Of course you're a she," she said to the feline, kissing the top of her head with a small peck. The onyx cat purred even deeper. Henry tiptoed closer.

"Can I hold him?" he asked his brunette mother in a small voice. Regina pried the animal away from herself to try to hand her over. Henry unceremoniously yanked the terror from her arms, opened the front door and tossed the cat outside where it landed lithely on its feet. The cat turned her head around, hissed one final time and then took off at a dead run into the neighborhood. Henry slammed the door shut, breathing harder than he should be. Emma burst into whoops of joy, high fiving him and Regina's eyes widened in shock.

"HENRY SWAN MIl—"

"MOM WAS THE ONE WHO TURNED YOUR CLOTHES PINK!" he interjected. Emma ceased her cries of joy and gasped in utter disbelief as her son sold her out and bolted off to his room, taking the stairs two at a time.

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**A/N:** I'm really hoping to involve Regina more in the next few. Inspiration always strikes randomly though. I'd love to try my hand at a crack fic but that would most likely be posted under its own story. (I was _really_ tempted to exaggerate this ficlet into a crack fic, actually...)  
Reviews feed my creativity, so by all means, let me know what you thought or what you'd like to see next. And thanks for reading!


	4. Ice Skating

THUNKTHUDTHUDTHUDTHUNK

"Henry?" Regina called from the kitchen, "Are you okay?" She rushed from the kitchen and into the living room. Henry was already looking over the couch and towards the stairs where a frazzled blonde had stumbled down the last four steps.

"Oh good, it's just you," Regina said with a sigh of relief and Emma faked an insulted look.

"That was close; I almost ate it," she grinned. "Are you guys ready?" She looked towards her two brunettes.

"Yeah!" Henry said with glee and grabbed Regina's hand to lead her to the door. "This is going to be so much fun!"

They all squeezed into Emma's yellow bug with Henry taking the backseat. He was bouncing up and down with excitement. It was Regina's day off and it was his turn to pick what to do for the day. Soon enough, they pulled into the parking lot of the town's ice rink.

"How many?" the young clerk asked the Swan-Mills.

"Three."

"Two."

Emma looked to Regina with surprise.

"Two? Just you and me, then?" Emma teased, throwing an arm around Regina's waist and lightly shoving Henry back.

"Heyyyy," Henry whined. He forcibly burrowed his way in between his two mothers' embrace.

"Two," Regina repeated to the clerk. "I'll watch," she said.

"Watch? How boring. Three," Emma said and quickly shoved a wad of crumpled bills at the cashier.

"I don't skate," Regina said.

"Aw, come on, Mom!" Henry said.

"I don't know how, honey," she explained.

"Then we'll teach you!" he said brightly. "Emma taught me, and she's really good!" he said.

"Ah, so my reputation precedes me," Emma said and Regina gave her a doubtful glance. It was no secret that the blonde severely lacked coordination.

Emma took the three pairs of skates and carried them over to the designated matted area. When they were all laced up, Henry and Emma sprung up eager to get onto the ice. Regina stood unsteadily on her white skates and awkwardly lifted her feet to clumsily walk over to the entrance. Emma linked her arm through hers to escort her.

The door to the rink opened and they were greeted with chilled air. Henry was the first one onto the ice with a little too much speed and he pin wheeled his arms until he steadied himself, planting his feet wide apart.

"Henry, be careful," Regina said.

"I know, I know," he said.

Emma entered with Regina next, and she instantly stiffened up with a death grip on Emma's arm.

"Whoa, easy there," she said playfully. "Alright, I'm gunna let you go, now," she said when her grip lessened on her.

"What? No." Regina nearly yelped.

"Mom, be careful," Henry said, purposefully mimicking her from five seconds ago.

Emma untangled her limb from the brunette and pushed off a little ways in front of her.

"Come on, Mom," Henry said, skating back to take her hand. His pull slid her a few inches forward and Regina slide one foot in front of her, and suddenly her other foot followed unintentionally. She tried to regain her balance by setting a hand on Henry's shoulder. The unexpected weight of her made him fall and she tumbled along with him.

"Ow!" Regina said as her butt hit the ice hard. Henry was still somewhat upright, but with a knee and a palm on the ice.

"Oh no," Emma said. "Um," she looked around the rink, "Hold on, I'll be right back."

When she returned, Henry had managed to help Regina up and into a standing position again. She had super glued herself to the railing on the wall of the rink, refusing to move.

"Here, use these," Emma told Regina, who raised her eyebrow at the buckets in her hands. She started stacking them, open side down, and one on top of the other until they were about waist high.

"Now you can balance yourself, till you work it out," Emma explained.

Regina carefully altered her stance from being suctioned to the wall, to the top of the stack of buckets in front of her. Not realizing she had been holding her breath, she let out a large exhale.

"See? Not so bad now," Emma said lightly.

"I'm glad I don't have to use those anymore," Henry said to Emma. He poked her in her side and she bent down so he could whisper into her ear, "They're for babies."

Emma tried to smother a laugh, and Regina eyed them suspiciously. Before she could demand to know what they were laughing about, Henry tapped Emma on her stomach and shouted, "Tag! You're it!" He skated off in a frenzy.

"Hey!" she called. She turned back to Regina, "Will you be alright? It looks like I gotta be a bus driver."

"What?" Regina said, scrunching up her nose.

"Cuz I drive the bus?" Emma said hopefully when she didn't get it. "Cuz I'm gunna take him to school? As in, show him a lesson? Tag?" Emma tried.

"Oh," Regina said, without laughing. "Yes, I..I think I'll be fine now that I have this," she tapped the stack of bucket in front of her.

"Great!" and Emma took off.

Regina saw them skate around the rink as she shuffled slowly around, getting the hang of the motion. She watched them swerving in and out of people's way chasing each other. When they were out of breath and both red in the face, they slowed down to a more leisurely pace.

Regina looked across the rink to see another person using makeshift buckets for help. She started to feel better about her lack of skill until the person was led to the stack was a four year old boy. She instantly refused to be on his same level and shuffled back to the wall as she abandoned her makeshift walker. Not bending her knees, she held on to the railing and carefully put one skate forward, then the other with a small smile that she didn't fall.

She located her blonde and brunette and slowly started to make her way over to them halfway across the rink. The brunette drew the attention of her family at having discarded her training wheels, and they both skated over.

"Alright!" Henry cheered, "No more buckets!" He slowed to Regina's speed and carefully grabbed her hand as not to unbalance her. Hand in hand they skated slowly farther and farther away from the wall of the rink. Emma skated lazy circles around the two of them and Regina marveled at how easy the blonde made it look.

"Hey watch this," Emma winked as she started to skate backwards. Henry's eyes grew as wide as saucers as she lightly hopped up and did a small twirl before landing again. "TADAAA!"

"Whoaaa!" Henry exclaimed.

Regina's mouth hung open slightly before she found her voice, "I didn't know you could skate."

"I didn't know you couldn't" Emma teased and Henry giggled.

"You're quite the _swan_, actually," she purred.

Emma shrugged and replied, "Only on water, apparently. It's called a loop jump, by the way."

"Emma! You HAVE to teach me!" Henry squealed.

"Oh,yeah?"

"Yeaaaahhhh, show me how to do that!"

Henry let go of his other mother, who shuffled closer to the wall. She watched Emma start to teach their son to skate backwards first. She felt her heart swell at the careful way the blonde caught him each time he started to lose his balance. Soon, they were both hopping around like grounded pigeons together. Emma then showed him how to connect the two moves together with a small spin.

"Mom, look!" he called. Henry carefully put the individual moves all together for a slow and jerky hop of a twirl. Emma locked eyes with the brunette and a shy smile graced her lips.

"Now, all you got to do is add some flair, kid," the blonde said. She demonstrated by doing the jump she just taught him with her arms fully extended out and pointed skates. Regina watched her two swans preform their trick for her. She laughed and clapped her hands at Henry's less graceful attempts.

Emma came up to the brunette, "You're next!" she said.

"Oh please, dear, I can barely even stand," Regina said, brushing her off.

Emma pulled Regina with her and spun her in a slow circle. Regina immediately lost her balance as her skates went in different directions and she toppled into the sheriff, taking her down with her.

"Emma!" Regina scolded from atop the blonde who had cushioned her fall.

"What?" she said with a lopsided grin. "I was _trying_ to be romantic."

Regina simpered lightly and kissed the tip of the blonde's cold nose sweetly.

"Help me up, babe," she requested with her hand held out.

Henry took a small spill as well from one of his better twirls. He sat on the ice for a moment instead of immediately getting up. "Moms, I'm getting cold. Can we get some hot chocolate?" he asked. "Pleeeeeeeeeease?"

Emma looked to Regina for permission.

"Yes, I think I'm done for the day," Regina said, and Henry nodded the same.

"Yeah, I'm starving too," Emma added.

After they had gotten off the rink, and into their own shoes again, the counter called their order number and Henry raced over to retrieve their drinks. He stared intently at the tray in his hands as he carefully made his way back to their table trying not to spill. When he safely put it on the table, three hot chocolates with whipped cream and cinnamon on top were each snagged by cold hands. Regina had taken a liking to cinnamon, as she'd grown accustom to it from stealing sips from Emma's mug late at night.

"Did you get my nachos?" Emma asked Henry. He pointedly stared at the empty tray in front of her with a look that perfectly matched the one his other mother would have given her.

Emma grumbled and got up to go to the counter, but her foot caught in the support beam of the table and she tripped.

"Gah!" Emma hopped around until she regained her footing and practically ran to her greasy snack on the stand.

"A swan only on water," Regina murmured softly to herself and took a sip of her cocoa.

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**A/N: **feed the beast; reviews are welcomed!


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